Disqualifier by Kashif Nasir

 Disqualifier: 

Sometimes people post disqualifiers. It's not gender specific, it's about entitlement.

What is entitlement?

Expecting or believing that you deserve preferential treatment. 

What is a disqualifier? 

A disqualifier usually starts with a keyword: ' A Real Man or Real woman would' what follows next is a disqualifier. 

The person that is posting this has created a template, a goal-post, a hoop, a test for you to pass, for you to be in their good graces, for you to be accepted.

An example of a disqualifier

" A real man will treat his woman like a queen"

"A real woman will treat his man like a king" 

( while how a Queen and King are treated is up to this person's interpretation and mood)

Now a person that posts this kind of thing has unrealistic expectations, or he/she believes that they are entitled to preferential treatment. 

If you don't fit their mold, or jump through their hoop, YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED. That's why I call it a disqualifier.

What you can do? 

You don't need anyone's acceptance but yours,

 That takes work, reading psychology, therapy, working on your goals, fixing your routine, breaking away from addictions, and eventually finding your real self. 

In fact, the more you know yourself and know what you want the less you will fall for disqualifiers.

In my opinion, disqualifier is a sort of emotional manipulation. In which one person tells the other that they can have them but on terms and conditions, on the other hand, real intimacy is without any strings. 

When leverage enters any relationship the whole thing becomes fake because it disturbs the power balance.

PUA community roughly called disqualifier 'a shit test' something women would put men through ( again it's not gender specific)  

This is post is getting longer than I had thought. 

The truth is it all leads back to your childhood grooming, you are either a Co-dependent ( someone that seeks approval outside themselves) or you have narcissistic traits ( someone that only cares about taking and not giving back) 

There are fifty shades of grey between the two personality types... There are as many personalities as there are people. One piece of advice I would give Young adults is to read ' Diagnostic of mental disorders' before selecting a potential mate. It can save you a lot of heartaches, time, and money. There are a lot of undiagnosed mental and behavior disorders out there.

Always remember ' knowledge is power ' knowing what kind of personality you are dealing with will get you far in life. In just about

Boy-girl relationship, it's your boss, teacher, parent, friend, relative, child, practically everyone. 

But know this " If you don't know who you are, you won't who anyone else is either, it all starts with knowledge of self."

23rd March 2020, what are we celebrating?

23rd March 2020, what are we celebrating?

The IMF loans, The supposedly rigged election, the inflation, the forced disappearances, the teachers on strike, the young doctors on strike, the increasing number of youth who wants to flee the country, the joblessness, the pollution, the corruption, the suicides, the forced conversions, the sons of military men who are harassing the civilians, the Panama scandal or the papa john’s pizza scandal?
Oh sorry, it’s about the war machines show, the patriotic songs and the banners, right.

Please tell me when was the last time a tank was used? In 1965 war, or 1971 war, anyway it was more than fifty years ago.

During the last fifty years we haven’t used a tank. We haven’t used any weapon because we had no wars. The Siachen and Kargil conflict, minor conflicts compared to the full blown wars.

For fifty years these things have been kept in store rooms. They have served no purpose.

George Orwell says in his novel 1984. The question was how to keep the industry’s wheels turning without increasing the standard of living. In a world where everyone had a car and his own house the major difference between social classes would already disappear.

The answer is spending the energy and money on a floating fortress (any sort of military weapon). It serves no purpose but to waste the surplus of the industry, which if used properly would increase the standard of living of the masses. Which eventually would cause the annihilation of the class pyramid.

The only use for floating fortress is to break it down and later remake a bigger floating fortress. Endlessly waste the surplus of industry.

Orwell also predicts that there will be no more wars. The conflicting powers have reached a power balance. With modern day weapons, if it came to war all of them will be destroyed.

Yet they keep collecting weapons waiting for that fateful moment when they will get the opportunity to strike first and destroy the enemy country so completely that they will not be able to retaliate.

Nationalism, an absolute idea

Nationalism is a tribal idea: “My tribe is better than yours”
The idea has its root in pride one of the greatest human vices.
Where is the evidence that one tribe could be better than the other?
Nationalism or patriotism might have worked in past. But this idea is based on competition and world needs cooperation. Remember in the age of industrialization Britain, Spain, Rome and other powers competed for raw materials. Which lead to colonization, No good can come out of competition. Haven’t we learned anything from history?

Imagine, instead of competing if India and Pakistan cooperated. Easier trade, easier travel, less investment in weapons more money to spend on health and education.
Patriotism is cashed in political rallies. Anti-Pakistan stance sells in India and Anti-India stance in Pakistan. The citizens don’t hate each other. The politicians gain votes by selling patriotism.
There is only one department which benefits from war. Nobody else wants it.

Foreign policy

When Benazir came in to power. She was told that she won’t interfere in the foreign policy.

The foreign policy on both sides of the border is designed by you-know-who. Pakistan and India both had weak democratic governments from the start. You know what happened to the founding fathers, Gandhi was shot, Liaqat Ali Khan was shot, Nehru died of heart attack, Fatima Jinnah was labeled traitor by you-know-who.

When foreign policy is being designed by a certain institute, that institute will make sure of its own privileges.
Pakistan and India cannot reach peace until the foreign policy comes in to the hands of democratic governments.