Qurbat e marg main muhabbat by Mustansar Hussain Tarar mukamal review ur...

My loneliness and me

 

We have been everywhere

My loneliness and me

We have been to the bars

We have been to the sea

My loneliness and me I have also had some friends

Thought the friendships would never end

But always did the friendships end

But she was always there with me

My Loneliness and me  And in the night when I am alone

Trying to swallow my pain and moans,

Remembering the days long long gone

She is always there for me 

My loneliness and me.

 

And although I write these poems

And sadness may sit in my rhyme

I am not looking for a saviour

Nor do I want to be free

It's okay if it's just-

My loneliness and me Kashif Nasir

Rise above the circumstances

 “Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.).Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”. Then the detachment of soldiers with its commander and the Jewish officials arrested Jesus.” (John 18:10-12)

I was struck by Jesus' submission to circumstances when I read this passage today. He had the option of fleeing. Some people think he had supernatural abilities and could have struck the soldiers with lightning. He did none of those things, though.

I have repeatedly observed this in the lives of numerous historical figures. For instance, Malcolm X went to the event despite knowing full well he would be shot. Bhagat Singh continued on his path despite knowing he would be killed. Despite the fact that King Leonidas and his valiant three hundred were no match for the god-king and his world army, they went to fight. 

What elevates people above suffering and death? There is beauty in this idealism. Why is the human spirit so resilient in the face of the most challenging situations? 

The circumstances, in my opinion, are crucial. Would Mandela have joined the ANC (African National Congress) and the anti-apartheid movement if the odds weren't stacked against him? Mandela actually had everything to gain from becoming a successful lawyer; white people would have welcomed him just as they had so many other black intellectuals. However, Mandela felt the pain of his people and became a fugitive and a prisoner. Thirty years is not a joke.  

One problem people with codependency have is that they are always trying to control things, circumstances, and people.  

If you are currently struggling because of adversity, This is your chance to excel in spite of your circumstances. understanding that men have faced and overcome the worst. In fact, they have used the circumstances and made a name for themselves.

Broken man by Kashif Nasir

 
Broken man
Kashif Nasir

I have no fancy gifts to give, 

nor good words to say, 

I have no good memories, 

nor thoughts that are gay, 

I am a broken man that's all I have to say

Neither morning nor at night, 

I see no peace in sight

And it's getting lonelier day by day, 

I am a broken man that's all I have to say

Neither verse nor prose

Neither women nor rose

Nothing lights up my day

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

You may see me in the room

Sitting darkly in the gloom

fighting demons, keeping them at the bay

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

Neither my tears nor my voice

Nothing ever reaches the skies

If there is a god why is he so far away

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

Neither my friends nor my foes

No one ever hears my woes

No one comes, and no one stays 

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

My loneliness has reached its peak

Everything is looking bleak

I have very little left to say

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

Every time I look around

I see broken men all around

They all laugh, but inside they are rotting away

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

I am still not done

I still have to write

Tell them that things will be alright

But I know there won’t be such a day

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

My words have gone into my head

Twisting turning in bed

Saying things I never said

Out of this hell, I see no way

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

Oh God if you are there

Why you don’t ever hear

Why don’t you come down 

and fix this mortal of clay

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

I am still angry

I am still loud

I am about to burst

Like an angry cloud

My righteous rage, will everything wash away

I am a broken man that’s all I have to say

I will be angry forever more

Writing verses more and more

Of every injury keeping score

And one day I will make them pay

I am an angry man that’s all I have to say

Childhood trauma and relationships

 This is going to be a lengthy post, but it can help a lot of people. Over the years, I have met a lot of people, and when I meet them, sometimes I can tell that they come from dysfunctional families.

There are subtle signs and hints that you can observe, for example, if they are apologizing too much or they are trying very hard to please you, it's a sign that they were raised in a family where their emotions, feelings, wants, or needs were invalidated.

There can be so many reasons why, if you come from a middle-class family where money was an issue, you must have acted like there were certain things you didn’t really want or need, although you really wanted them and didn't want to burden your parents.

Or maybe your parents had an unpredictable temper.

Or maybe your parents were emotionally unstable, you might have found yourself trying to reconcile your two parents after a fight, or you might have found yourself taking care of their emotions and trying to comfort them when it was you who needed the assistance. You might have been privy to financial problems. This is called emotional incest.

This causes role reversal, also known as parentification—a phenomenon in which a child is forced to assume a parent’s role.

Now, is that bad? It's devastating... The damage it does to a child’s personality is horrible. When these children grow up, they use the same strategy to seek love. They do too much for others, they pretend they don’t have any wants or needs to not burden the person they like. As you can see, they repeat the same childhood strategy to gain love.

What really happens in the adult world is that they attract their polar opposites, mostly narcissists and abusers. Their happiness depends on another person’s moods and whims; this is called co-dependency.

How do I know all this? Well, I have been through some bullshit so.

There is nothing like heartache, all other pains have medicine, but emotional pain just goes on and on.

You can find peace, and the pain can end if you just accept the fact that the problem is inside you and not outside you. Obviously, one needs help with boundary work, healing the inner child, and recovering from trauma.

All this is very much possible, the most common symptom of boundary conflict or trauma is depression.

If you are going through any such problems. We can talk, I am not a therapist, just a person who has been through it all.

The point is, you attract who you are, and if you don’t heal, and don’t put in the boundary work, you are going to keep attracting the same abusers and narcissists. This isn’t limited to romantic relationships, it can be with friends, bosses, and co-workers.

Being in the adult world without doing boundary work can be extremely draining.

The end of men by Kashif Nasir

 

All men have this hole inside them, for intimacy, for emotional release. 

At an early age, boys are told that men don’t cry and they stop, on the other hand, girls quickly learn to use tears to their advantage. Once a boy reaches twelve the whole world is shut to him. Men can’t talk to other men about the stress they go through daily, because that’s not what guys do. Women on the other hand have many options they can express their emotions too. 

My boss this amazing guy recently lost his business, I lost my job, I texted him and asked him how he was he said “ he was fine” he asked me how I was “And I said I was fine”. And that was the end of the conversation. It has been said that losing a job could be like a family death. 

I am just trying to paint you a picture. Men can’t talk to other men, they can’t tell their problems to their mothers and sister because they have to be strong, they have this provider role. So who can men talk to?

Men will be shamed as a crybaby, as weak, or shut down as “You should man up”. Men can’t tell women they like how they feel because women are attracted to strong men and don’t want to appear weak. 

Men have the highest suicide rates. 

(Paraphrasing, Nora Robert’s Self-made man) (Side note Nora was a feminist who dressed as a man to write a book, Nora committed suicide)

Hannah Rosin recently wrote an article “The end of men” ( you can google it). I agreed with everything she wrote, Hannah said that girls are getting more educated than boys. She also predicted the end of manual jobs. Since men’s whole worth is their paycheck ( what they can provide). Men have reached an end. She wrote and I quote “ Men are the new ball and chain for women” Since educated women can earn more money than men they might be in a relationship with, young women feel they no longer need men. 

And that’s alright.  

 Men are going through a crisis, and every movement gives birth to a reactionary movement, as you can see the feminist movement gave birth to groups like the manosphere, the red pill community, mgtow. I have respect for these platforms because they have given men a platform, somewhere they can openly discuss how they feel. I mean come on look at the divorce laws in America. 

I feel there is a cause for misogyny. Men understand the immense power women have in the realm of relationships and sex. Also, it's somehow a man’s job to get a woman’s attention, ask for numbers, arrange meet-ups, get on a knee, and offer a ring. And women can simply say no and can completely shatter a guy’s confidence. I think men feel resentment and they feel emasculated about how rigged the game is. 

I think there is a reason why men become violent: anger is the only emotion men are allowed to express. 

Men have a strong need for companionship, as I mentioned in my post about how they are conditioned from birth. But being needy is being weak, I think men feel they need female companionship, and they abhor that they need it because it makes them feel weak, They understand women’s power, and that’s where misogyny comes from.     

Book review 'The Variant' by Tanzeela K Hassan

Book review: The variant by Tanzeela K Hassan

Genre: short story


Okay so I just finished reading “The variant” by Tanzeela, I decided to read this because it was the shortest of four books she sent me… (Its a gift, I only paid for two the other two are gifts) anyway, so let's dive into it.


“The variant is an interesting story, I love the short story genre because of its ability to deliver a punch, it can say a lot in very little. Variant features several characters at the heart are our heroine Ayman and her two brothers Uzi and Zub…


The story starts with the disappearance of two boys Uzi and Zub who had gone to fetch food, and Aymen decides that she is going to go rescue her brothers… and she gets into an argument with her mom.


And she is like “whatever boys can do, a girl can do too”


Then the story goes into a supernatural realm. Where Aymen faces some really extraordinary fantastical creatures called Bazoras, and Wozorans, these are like wolves and fire-breathing dragon sort of creatures.


And I love that because I am a fan of the extraordinary and trying new things. I got through the story in one sitting and it had me hooked till the end. And the ending is very neat because it ties up everything neatly, so no loose ends.


One really interesting idea is the idea of metazorric dimension, a parallel dimension where you are your thoughts, you are whatever you believe yourself to be. I think it's an interesting idea that can be used in many ways.


And Aymen has to go through some sort of trials to rescue her brothers and she also has to learn some sort of spiritual truths. All in all, it's a very interesting story to read because it's startlingly original. Because it was some copied content I would have known right off the bat because like I am obsessed with literature.


Okay, they are a few things I didn’t like, first of all, the Bazoras and Wozorans had me a little confused, the descriptions are amazing, it's just the names confuse me because they sound the same. The other thing is there is sort of a subtle “preaching” going on in the background, that sounds to me a little anti-feminist, maybe it's just me because I lean more towards liberal and secular ideologies but it doesn’t affect the story. The story is good.


Tanzeela you should do science fiction you really have the knack for it.